The dedication to training and eating like an athlete in my pre-teen and teen years paid off with a full ride to Boston University; and a scholarship as a women’s basketball graduate assistant at Heidelberg University. But when my college career came to an abrupt, premature end due to circumstances out of my control, I was lost.

Basketball was always the motivation behind a healthy lifestyle…and it was gone, along with my self-worth. I was left in the midst of empty time without anyone or anything to hold me accountable…and I had absolutely NO idea how to be healthy for life.

With nothing to stay in shape for (I didn’t have an internal drive for fitness – it came as a means to an end – to excel as a player)…

My body image and self-confidence sunk,  I self-sabotaged by eating and drinking too much, and exercising too little. I felt like such a failure.

The next several years were followed by high peaks and low valleys. I would lose some weight and then I would gain it back. Diets and quick fix strategies didn’t work, and I got really good and beating myself up. I felt so UNCOMFORTABLE in my body & completely HOPELESS.

…Until November 2008, when I hit bottom.  I was stressed at work, I was self medicating through my nightly “glass” (bottle) of wine, I was eating crap, and I was not happy with myself at all. I got on the scale (this was before I knew that a measuring tape is the way to go!) and I was 30 pounds overweight. I constantly beat myself up for lack of will-power and inability to just diet and exercise my way to my ideal body.

How was I going to right the ship after nearly a decade of abusing myself physically and mentally? My patterns were to wallow in self-defeating thoughts, compare myself to others, wear baggy clothes, make poor food choices, and perpetuate unhealthy coping mechanisms. Was this just how it was going to be?!

November 2008 will always be special to me. I went into that month feeling so terrible about myself and unhealthy, but it ended with a wake-up call (more on this here – link to come) which left me determined to let all the baggage (and weight!) go.

When I played basketball, I was always trying to fit into someone else’s version of what I should be, do, look like, act like, etc. After basketball it became trying to live up to the unrealistic societal standards for what a woman’s body “should” look like.

When I tuned out all the noise and committed to TRAIN 4 LIFE, I put my health first; worked on loving myself unconditionally; and to began eating and working out to sustain my life’s journey.

Overnight success? No way! That doesn’t exist. My transformation did not  happen overnight (btw I’ve never had a client with quick weight loss that’s been able to sustain it over time). It was a slow journey defined by better choices and measurable results. No secret sauce, no magic pills, and I know it works – it’s taken me through marriage and motherhood!

Life isn’t perfect and some days are better than others. But what I’ve come to realize is… it’s okay. When my goal stopped being about looking a certain way, reaching a certain weight, or perfection with my diet and exercise…and became about creating habits I could sustain for LIFE, and celebrating my strength and capabilities; magic happened.